God Save the Queen!
I loved the London 2012 Olympic Games Opening Ceremony. I was impressed by the lovely pastoral scene with the real sod and meadows. The segue into the Industrial Age using the volunteers/actors to change the entire stadium was innovative. The molten Olympic Rings were pure genius. And I couldn't help but chuckle at the nose-thumbing cheekily aimed at us silly Americans freaking out over a national health program with the proud piece celebrating the UK's National Health Service starring actual nurses, doctors, and adorable children. Speaking of the children, that beautiful song tribute to Queen Elizabeth almost made me verklempt, and the Queen was a good sport to allow herself to play a Bond Girl. Bravo to her, Danny Boyle, and everyone involved in the Opening Ceremony.
Onto the PG-rated material. This year for the first time ever, female Beach Volleyball players are allowed to wear something besides a bikini or one-piece bathing suit. Players can now wear "shorts of a maximum length of 3cm above the knee with sleeved or sleeveless tops or a full body suit" to accommodate cultural differences or religious beliefs. Read the full official report here.
Surprisingly, we've been seeing many players choose to cover up even without any cultural or religious motivations. I mean, whenever I'm diving around in the sand for hours in front of billions, I always choose to wear the teeniest tiniest bikini I can find. Why the change, USA?
It did occur to me yesterday watching the USA vs. Argentina match that being a female Beach Volleyball contender now involves getting a full Brazilian bikini wax. I hope that cost is covered. And what kind of calculations does that require? "Hmm, I have to compete from this date to this date, and my Brazilian will last four weeks, so..."
But, hey, I understand. It's all about the ratings. Which is why I perked up when my husband asked if I wanted to watch Men's Beach Volleyball or Cycling and I said, "Beach volleyball, please!" I ran over fully expecting to enjoy a nice afternoon of muscular young men, manscaped and wearing little speedos, or, less appealingly, swim trunks, but with no doubt in my mind that they would be bare-chested.
Oh, dear.
Have you seen the men's uniforms? It's mind-blowing. Baggy shirts and shorts. Has the Olympic Committee not seen the box office earnings of Magic Mike?
Upon spotting the depressingly covered-up men, I turned up my nose and walked away. They're not getting my precious time.
Editor's Note: We're unable to provide readers with a side-by-side comparison of the uniforms due to image restrictions by NBC, but take our word for it, there's a pretty obvious difference.
